All those nothings with u...
Sunday morning
8am is usually “early morning” to me like 5am to my ammi. I was deep asleep but something woke me up. It wasn’t just something but my favourite ring tone. I had assigned it to her call. Even though it was her call, my hello was rather dull.
“U idiot, i know u r sleeping. Come fast, my bday treat” she hung up
Bday!!!Bday was long back. Treat!!! I had never seen her open her purse & where?? I called her to know where but she didn’t allow me to open my mouth.
“i know u wud call back. Y didn’t u keep ur mobile silent today? Get up early n help ur mother in doing something. U still in bed? Brushed? Took bath? Come to coffee house in 10 min” she hung up again.
I know the above questions r not meant to b answered. She talks so fast that evry micro second seems to be precious to her and as always if i called or if she called i wud get little opportunity to speak.
By d way how cud i travel 15 kms in 10 mins(90kmph) n that too i just got up. Why did she choose coffee house? She knew very well that i don’t drink coffee nor i liked d stuffs there. But if i didn’t go thats it!!! So i decided to go.
On my way i was thinking of possible questions n answers “Y r u sooo.... late?” if i arrived late. “Y r u early? I asked u to come in 30 mins rt?” if she arrived late.
She looked dull. We went into a shop which was famous for its fruit juices n ice creams. “what wud u like to hav?” for the 1st time she let me chose what i wanted. Usually it was like the above question followed by 2 grape juices. “2 grape juice pls” i told to the boy who took the order.
She wasn’t looking at me even while she was speaking which was uncharacteristic of her. I could make out frm her face dat something was wrong but she kept quiet abt dat. She looked out of the window n asked
“ hari.... do u remember those lunch intervals that we used to spend together in d veranda n talk?”. Though the same thing was asked repeatedly in several ways, this time i felt she was really serious. I didn’t reply but she continued....
“All those nothings meant more to me than so many of those somethings but i never....” she stopped without completing. “what else do u want?” i said nothing but she ordered some chocolates for my ammi, paid the bill and jumped frm her seat n said “ come lets go to the island. Hav u ever been to the island in a jankar (a big boat)?” she forcefully handed some money to take tickets.
Travelling with her is not new to me. But this time, it was quite different. She sat to my rt touching me. She was holding on to my palms which was again for the 1st time other than for occasional handshakes. For a second or so she rested her head to my shoulder. I asked her repeatedly what was that bothered her but she shrugged away frm my questions. On reaching the island also i was trying in all possible ways to get her to talk abt her worrying factor but she kept on talking abt sea, trees, sky, heaven, hell and as always my duty was to listen. She didn’t like to be interrupted.
On coming back from the island, she took me to a textile shop n bought me a costly dark blue shirt ( with no pockets), her favourite colour. She asked me to wear it whenever i thought of her.
“then i will hav to wear it 24 x 365 a yr ha ha..” i replied
Just as i said this she burst into tears. I wanted to wipe out her tears and also to ask her “why??” but she already boarded her bus back home covering her face with her shawl.
That was the last time i saw her. So many things remained unanswered.... 5 long yrs... still i think of her... still i think of dat day... still i .....
I believe everything happens for a reason. I also want you to know that
“All those nothings with u meant more to me than so many of those somethings that i had with others”
